When you meet the wrong girl -part two

That girl Tina was all but forgotten by now, but when I did think of her, it just brought back bad memories.

She turned up in my life again 7 years later in 1994, again watching me from afar.

She was working at a place, that I was working at, for just a few days.
I only recognized her at the very last moment, Then she walks past with a male colleague talking about me in glowing terms, but not to me directly.

I couldn’t believe it.

I had spent the last seven years staying out of relationships because I didn’t think I was good enough, because of her.

Now she expected me to chase her again, because?

I just wasn’t going thru all that again & in any event didn’t know what she really wanted anyway, so I just avoided her glances.

Tina hadn’t gone far in life, I suspect the local office where had worked had closed & she was transferred to Auckland where I was.
She seemed to have no outward personality/charisma.

She was right at the bottom of the pecking order in the office. Poor, clothing brought at Farmers, she didn’t seem capable of much, or know much, probably due to her isolationist mind-set, a vacant shell, no energy. Invisible to most people, dressed & did nothing that stood out, always blended into the background.

After so much hope & courage in 1984, it turns out I had been chasing a vacant shell.

Life could have been so different. I was a sucker for a serene smile.

All that time, there had been other girls around that I had just ignored, that I could have developed positive relationships with.

The resulting frustration, resulted in me stumbling into my first real relationship with another girl, who was very forward and clear what she wanted. (It involved none of that flirty stuff that is easilky misinterpreted) I was amazed how easy it just happened with none of the negative drama that I thought happened with relationships. It broke up after it became apparent, that I wasn’t going to marry her.

I wrote to Tina  a letter after that, sent via her parents, she wrote back promptly, the writing was the smallest I have ever seen and was written in a somewhat childlike poetic prose. It seemed full of random thoughts & ended with ‘I think you should know I am in a relationship’

I went back to what was working well for me, refining what worked & discarding what didn’t, & started working on my my own self development.

I then had a second relationship with a desperate needy girl in her 40’s (Joy), naively, I thought rather than fob her off (she was rather persistent), she would just spit me out after a few months anyway. The relationship broke up for the same reason as the first one & lasted about the same amount of time (@ 15 months). I was in much better shape after this one as I always knew how it would end up & simply went back to my former life.
We remained as flatmates & she then went thru what seemed a new boyfriend, every month. (It was the complete opposite to what I thought always happened, She was chasing them, not the other way round).

So I returned to that intentionally single life, ate merrily at restaurants by myself, brought nice motorcycles, went on holidays, and concentrated on my career, etc.

It was a happy carefree life, but it was only happy up to a point.

There was still something missing..

Part Three is here…

https://uncoffined.com/2025/08/21/when-you-meet-the-wrong-girl-part-three/