One thing I find with female narcissists is that they never really seem to go away, they sit in the shadows watching, waiting for that ‘opportunity’. I say this from experience because I’ve had one silently stalk me for 35 years.
https://uncoffined.com/2025/09/04/how-ive-learnt-to-deal-with-a-narcissist/
To understand why they do this is easy, once you understand how narcissism works -They think they can exploit you, fail, and then try to get ‘even’.
They end up in the impossible position of trying to get you to chase them when your not interested, which frustrates the hell out of them. They just have to ‘win’ somehow in their own minds.
The trick is not to react to them, and not get pulled into ‘the game’.
Below is how it’s played out with the most recent stalker.
First is the friendly, well groomed version obviously waiting for you to turn up like we were on a date or something.
I’m just thinking WTF? who are you? and how did this happen?
Second is several attempts at a passive / aggressive ‘talk to me or else’ facial expressions / dry begging / power play.
(Thats a classic sign of a narcissist right there).
Third is the really placid friendly smile with lots of serenity and other happy things.
Yeah, thats just an act and I saw the real you back in second.
Forth is where they ‘copy’ your personality as if we are a match made in heaven -another fake act.
Fifth, They setup various ‘chance ‘ encounters. I’m very adept at detecting these and I surreptitiously sabotage it everytime.
Unfortunately, a byproduct of that strategy is that they think it was just bad luck or something and they try again later.
Sixth, It became obvious to bystanders whats going on and what I’m doing, at which point it looks like I’ve won, because saving face means everything to these people.
The trick is to maintain studied neutrality and give them nothing to play with.
To this day, I’ve never spoken to her.
Some notes-
I dealt with this through the companies EAP (Employee Assistance Program), management and told no one else. I did it this way because I didn’t want to humiliate or shame her.
I think it’s quietly known about throughout the company, because people talk, even when they shouldn’t.
There’s never been any feedback from the company itself, the problem evaporated and became a lot less aggressive. (thats when the charm offensive started)
To those who haven’t read my earlier posts, and ask ‘isn’t this a great compliment / opportunity’?
NO, I never asked for this, and it’s well known I am married with several kids, which sort of tells you just how unethical this person is.
Uncoffined 
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