When you meet the wrong girl -part three

I decided to put the past behind me & start from afresh about 2001.
One thing I decided, was that I needed to find someone with similar attitudes & capabilities -someone at my level, -not an incapable waif.

To fix the percieved weaknesses in my knowledge, I took up dancing lessons, joined a dating agency that organised group dinners at restaurants. I simply sat in the background at these, biding my time, working things out. One night, I summoned up the courage to go up & talk to a girl at a dance, she was nice & polite, which did a lot for my confidence.

It was about this time, I was been persued at work, one of the outcomes of avoiding her, was the development of the ability to read her non-verbal communication in real time, rather than spend hours trying to work it all out later.

I had decided by now, that similar values were far more important than any superficial shell & from that point, looked for someone I could live with forever.

The rest is history. I found the girl I was looking for, and we got married  in 2004. We have 2 children & have now been  married for over 20 years.

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One of the hangovers from those early experiences, is that even today, if I see someone that looks like Tina, it makes my skin crawl. That automatic reaction has actually been inadvertently been saving me.

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Floating in the background for all this time however, is that ‘would be ex’ Tina, watching me from afar, and now 40 odd years later, she has become more daring and almost obvious.
I say ‘almost’ because after all these years, I’ve not always sure how she looks, and women are very good at reimaging themselves. The only real giveaway is some of her personality quirks. 

I had seen the odd  glimpse of someone like her from afar for years, but I was never sure,

Then, in 2023, she infiltrated a group of my friends. Rather naively, I wasn’t initially sure who she was (I think this was her intention?, she used a false name).
Eventually, she disappeared like a ghost, after I never reacted to her subtle, yet flawed come on’s. (Chillingly she mentioned maybe I would be ready in a few years time as she left.)

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Update -I now know that the one described below is a new stalker.., I’ve since identified where she is, so I can avoid her.

Last week, she was waiting for me at a cafe I go to, with a friendly smiley face.

I just froze up like the grim reaper was sitting there,  I couldn’t say a word or make eye contact -I just didn’t want to go through all those emotions again.

I was just gobsmacked at the audacity of it all.

She was visibly horrified by my reaction, so perhaps she now finally realises just how hurt I was all those years ago, and will leave me alone.

But somehow, I doubt it.

Why have I written all this?.

I needed to get it all off my chest, and find some closure.

So what happens now?

Probably nothing I hope, but I’m not carrying all this around in silence anymore.

I’m in a much better place these days with supportive friends, who are always there, rather than keeping to myself and suffering in silence as I did in the past.

In 1984, I was on a lonely journey into the deep unknown, sort of like a Star Trek journey into the vast unknown. That ill-Fated ship never came back, at least not with anything useful.

In 2025, I have a loving wife, our two kids, and very supportive friends. I wont simply suffer silently as I did in the past.

I can tell you that these occassional reminders of a dark period of my life do me no good. The lost innocence of 1986 is from a long time ago, and best left there.